3 months ago... A season ago. Something I loved very much was abruptly and without warning taken away. My job..... Once that happened negative, invasive, hurtful and unfair things just kept being thrown my direction.
I loved that job... The people, the girls I worked with, the place itself. I loved it.
I took things VERY hard! I ALLOWED my Joy to be taken away... I ALLOWED my self image, my entire identity to completely diminish... I ALLOWED depression to take over my heart... I ALLOWED the situation to come between my family, friends and myself... and most importantly I ALLOWED this unfortunate event to almost completely destroy the spirit and soul of who I am.
Im here to say ENOUGH!!! I have been walking around the past 3 months as a complete fraud. Ive made myself sick. Had my first panic attacks (if you have never had one... it's terrifying) and I came very close to having a complete nervous break down. Ya, I'll admit it, I'll put myself out there for all to know. I almost broke down. Not ashamed anymore.
Depression and sadness are a b#*ch especially if you let the monkeys in your head run wild.
That being said.................... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Happened at the gym on the elliptical (where most of my great thoughts are created) when it realized it had been 3 months since "the situation" happened.
A Season is 3 months. Different Seasons teach us new things and not all seasons are going to be good. I've had a couple dark seasons in the past and I remember the greatest character was developed in those times.
Today, right now I can already see some of the lessons I was to learn. Im a stronger fighter now........ going to need that moving to Brooklyn:)
To all my Dearest family and Friends and especially my devoted James who has watched me go threw this. I am so grateful for you and I thank You for standing by my side and helping me threw the dark. XOXOXO
It's time to begin North Fork Natasha again. Funny twist North Fork Natasha as of Saturday will be Brooklyn Natasha.
Can't wait to write of the new adventures and places in the city.... I still have not taken a subway by myself. That should be interesting.
Ready for this new season. New life and season completely.
It is time.
